Widows are narcissistic for quite some time after a spouse’s death, and quite rightly so. Their world has been emptied of all meaning as if the Big Dipper emptied all its stars. Widows are forced onto a journey they never meant to take, and the road is full of pot-holes.
I was a widow for 5 years and slogged down that terrible road until the end. I kicked and screamed and was furious with God for letting a happy marriage end that had honored Him and reared 3 good, normal kids. It took years for me to see God’s hand in leading me, and I often missed seeing the times He carried me.
This blog is my attempt to show how God was patient with me, listened to my rantings, taught me how to become independent, and led me with a firm, parental hand. Did I like it all? No. Did I learn and move on down the journey? Yes.
If any of my blog entries resonate with you, please let me know. Do I have all the answers? Heavens no! But you deserve the honor of knowing you are not crazy, and your problem has been encountered by some widow before. If your problem is not like one of my problems, perhaps some other widow who related to yours will comment out of concern and love. We are a sisterhood, members of an exclusive club we never wanted to join. But God is still in control, and He is the Great Comforter.
Reba,
I don’t know why I am just finding this blog as I knew you had worked on it so diligently. I have read everything at least 4 times and find your words amazingly beautiful and fitting. I certainly hope newer widows than I can find this and draw great comfort and HOPE from it. Thank you for having the drive to put your story in words and the realization of how it can help so many along their journey.
Did you teach school in Alpine ,Texas? I am Jason’s mother and your grandsons Sunday School teacher.
Kay, I remember you well, and you are a widow now too? Right? Since how long? Has it gotten easier as time has passed by? And how is my sweet Jason?
And, Kay, how did you find my blog? I’ve been remiss in keeping up with it, but it means a lot to me.