Leaving Grief behind is a journey of small steps. Each day takes you farther from the beginning, the moment you heard of the car crash or the instant the poor tired body gave up the fight. From that instant on, you started on a difficult journey that you must travel to the end.
Intense grief turns to poignant memories. Despair returns to hope. But it takes a lot of time.
These things I learned. Don’t get discouraged. Set goals. Refuse to sink into self destructive habits. Each day do something positive. Don’t think: “This is it. This is the rest of my life,” because it isn’t.
Today I will buy a bird feeder, bird seed, and will install it near my back door.
Today I will go to the library for a couple of hours browsing, reading and talking with anyone who smiles at me.
Today I will investigate what the Mediterranean diet is and buy appropriate groceries to start it. I’ll have the attitude that this is not a diet, but a new lease on life.
I’ll buy a calendar with pictures I love, like Monet, lighthouses, or cats, and hang it in my bathroom. Each day I’ll write down one thing I did that helped me move along my journey.
I’ll recognize the end of my journey when my talks with God are calm, and I’ll thank Him for giving me my soul mate for however long it was. I’ll thank him for continuing to guide me in the new life I’m making.
I’ll talk to God every day. I may even yell to Him about the unfairness of life, but I know He’ll listen patiently. Sometimes I’ll even remember to thank Him for what I have left.
Today I’m going to make myself a personal retreat for thinking, praying, reading, or just sitting. No electronics allowed. It’s not where I’ll do business, but a sanctuary with a comfortable chair, scented candle, and maybe flowers. I’ll include a journal and a pen for writing down my thoughts, good and bad. I’ll keep books and magazines. I’ll include beautiful paintings, but maybe not photos of him yet until I get farther along my journey where they make me smile instead of cry.
Today I’ll think about rescuing an abandoned pet from a shelter, more for my sake than hers. But only if I have time and space to take good care of it. Dogs need walking, and so do I. Cats need talking to, and I need a quiet listener. Parakeets need training, and I could get books on that. It’ll be nice to have someone else walking with me on my journey.
When my husband, my friend, my lover, my soul mate just died I was ready to throw myself in beside him. But I learned my life wasn’t over. God had other plans for me and I have to discover what they are. I keep looking to the sky for a huge banner of directions flying behind a cloud instead of a plane. But none appeared. I had to wait and keep asking God to direct my path.
What are some positive baby steps are you taking to keep moving forward?
“When I came to the spring today, I said, ‘Lord, God of my master Abraham, if you will, please grant success to the journey on which I have come.’” (Genesis 24:42 NIV)
